Best Mistake of My Life
by Ayumu-Emi
Summary: After a drunken mistake, Leah finds herself in a situation she once thought was utterly impossible. Most of them unknowing of her mistake, the Cullens make it their job to protect her secret from the Volturi. But why is everyone feeling strangely guilty?
1. I'm Just a Bucket of Rainbows

**As of 05/05/2014, this chapter has been completely overhauled. I felt Leah should have probably been more angsty, so uh… yeah.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**I'm Just a Bucket of Rainbows**

Today was the dreaded date, the 20th of March. The start of new life, how fitting. I snorted. It was the final betrayal, Sam was starting his new life with Emily and leaving me behind (on the day that I had told Emily, all those years ago, was my dream wedding date. It was symbolic of a brighter future, of a happy family).

Rage shook in my veins and I fought to regain control. _Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. _I internally chanted.

If I didn't know Emily better, I would have thought she was deliberately trying to spite me, but she always was a dreamer. Who could blame hopeful little Emily for believing that her old best friend could put aside her feelings just to give her the perfect wedding? Ugh. She had originally wanted me to be the Maid of Honor - how deluded could you even get? Instead, I was going to be a regular bride's maid. I could just about stomach that.

_Not so happy thoughts._ I mused bitterly.

The weather wasn't sympathetic to my plight. If my life was some kind of movie, it'd be raining, hailing even, and there would be lots of lighting. The thunder would be crashing like a chaotic clang of cymbals and all of my internal monologue would be accompanied with an epic orchestral score.

However, my life wasn't a movie. It was perfect weather, the sun high, yet covered by fluffy looking clouds. Someone was also blaring out Hollywood Undead. My life was a not quite picture-esque gothic cliche. Ugh.

"Leah!" Mom called.

"Coming!" I yelled back.

I had to to look presentable. I had always been fairly bad at make-up, preferring to go without. I could remember one time when Emily had tried to teach me...

_Keep it together_, I mentally snapped at myself._ Head in the game, Clearwater._

I skulked into the house, hands in my pockets and a scowl on my face, trying not to notice the memories of times long past that lingered, trying to taunt me.

"Leah?" Mom called softly.

"Here, Mom."

She turned around and smiled at me, "Go shower. You look awful."

I snorted, "Thanks, Mom."

When I finally got in the shower, the lukewarm water felt blissful against my overheated skin.

* * *

By the time I had gotten out of the shower, I realized the time. It was only two minutes before my _baby sitter_ showed up. My life really was some strange gothic novel, wasn't it? The over-emotional shapeshifter being looked after by an empath vampire that looked like something straight out of an emo band magazine. Add some eyeliner, some skinny jeans and he'd be perfect for the role.

Though of course, being a Cullen, he showed up early. I heard a car pulling up in front of our house and assumed by the lack of heart-beat that it must have been a vamp. The one and only Jasper Hale, an empath, to make sure I kept my emotions in check. You'd think they'd have more faith in my ability to keep calm... Then again, I was known for my quick temper and apparent "depressive compulsions"... To quote a certain blonde doctor.

… I honestly wouldn't have faith in my ability to stay calm and in a balanced state of mind, why should I expect them to believe in me? Whatever, I would be too drunk to care by the end of the night.

I hurriedly dried myself and swore when I realized how long it would take for my hair to dry naturally. It had grown out so much since I'd last cut it, huh. Sighing, I grabbed my hair dryer and plugged it in. I amused myself with listening to my Mom trying to make polite conversation with a vampire while drying my hair.

_"Nice weather, isn't it?"_ She mumbled.

_"It's lovely,"_ He replied politely. "You have a very nice home."

_"Thank you,"_ She replied somewhat awkwardly._ "Have a seat, please. I'm going to go make sure Leah doesn't wear odd socks or something..."_

He chuckled. It was a strangely pleasant sound.

"I can hear you, mother." I shouted down at her.

_"Yeah, yeah."_ She tutted under her breath, walking up the stairs.

My hair was almost completely dry. Giving up on drying it any more, I quickly brushed it and then knotted it into a tight, curly bun.

Mom walked into my room, my dress in her hands. It was a simple, dark-red dress. It was cut just above the knees and had a heart-shaped neckline with flowy matching red chiffon hanging from the waist.

I dressed swiftly, and then flopped gracelessly onto the bed and waited for Mom to start assaulting me with make-up.

"Sit up straight, Leah." She chastised. Grumbling, I obliged and shifted irritably.

"Just hold still." She mumbled.

Once she was finished, I got up, looked in the mirror and almost swore, "Well, I'd tap me."

Mom tutted at me.

Feeling a rush of confidence, I grinned and went to leave the room.

"Shoes, Leah."

The smile dropped from my face. "I don't do heels."

"Leah, please..." She begged. _For the good old times,_ her eyes pleaded.

"Okay." I said softly.

Mom gave me a watery smile. "I'm so proud of you Leah. And I know your father is too..."

She pulled me into a gentle hug and I began to tear up when a soothing wave of calm washed over me.

"I have your shoes here," Jasper drawled.

His presence brought a lightness back to the heavy atmosphere, maybe it was his powers, or maybe it was because he did look damn fine in a suit... Or maybe I always had a thing for Southern accents, leech or not. I shrugged it off.

I found myself grinning, I took the shoes from him and said, "Thanks, Goldilocks."

Once I'd slipped the shoes on, I did a twirl. "What do you think?"

His emotion thing must be pretty potent if it can turn me from Eeyore to Timon within a few seconds of being in a room with me. I thought with humor.

"You're..." Mom trailed off.

"Very nice-looking?" Jasper supplied.

I snorted, "Smooth, vamp."

"I try." He shrugged.

I sidled up to him and grinned wider. This was the perfect opportunity to irritate him. What would be more amusing than an opportunity to annoy one of those _darling_ Cullens? "This is technically a date. You should feel honored. I'm pretty damn fine."

He gave me a sort of lopsided, tiny smirk, golden eyes glowing kind of mirthfully. My stomach did a strange, worried back flip. "We'd better set off."

* * *

The ceremony was going to be held back up on Emily's rez, so we'd probably show up late now, since my make up was so important. Jeez. It was growing uncomfortable in the car, the silence awkward as the leech drove us (way above the speed limit) to my doom.

Of course I wasn't exactly looking forward to the wedding, but for me to show up late as a bridesmaid... Emily always had been a perfectionist through and through. This would be unforgivable. Somehow, I found myself worrying that Emily would hate me. For showing up to a shindig I didn't even want to go to, a shindig that wouldn't even being going down if all this freaking _crap_ didn't happen around me.

If the Uley, Clearwater and Black bloodlines didn't run so deep, if they didn't have that unnatural ability to purely _fuck up_ everything around them just by getting angr-

My breathing calmed, and my shaking had stopped. I blinked. Had I been about to phase? In the car? I shot a look over to Goldie and he looked perfectly innocent. Normally, I would have felt riled up that someone had such an influence over my emotions, but I probably couldn't even conjure negative feelings in his soothing presence.

Feeling strangely grateful, I muttered a quick, "Thanks, vamp."

The silence felt even more awkward once I'd broken it. An agitated panic wound around in my gut and left me feeling vaguely nauseous and fearful. I wondered if I was developing some form of Sedatephobia. I reached for the car's radio and twiddled around with the dials nervously, no idea what I was even doing with it.

He turned his honey-colored eyes to me and said in a serene, soft voice, "It's okay, Leah."

Our eyes locked. His eyes were strange, warm, and they promised things will get better. A wave of calm swelled over me. My doubt stayed subdued, yet still present... but strangely, I believed him.

* * *

**That was pretty difficult to write, but mostly because I procrastinate too much. I had to go back and edit all of my British spellings too... xD**


	2. Leah Clearwater, Bitch Extraordinaire

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Twilight, it'd probably be Bella/Alice and Edward would own a lovely green man-bag to keep a chiwawa called Pacho in.

**As of 28/05/2014, this chapter has been _completely_ re-written.**

* * *

**Leah Clearwater, Bitter Bitch Extraordinaire No More!**

We actually showed up on time. _That_ was how fast Goldie was driving.

"Mad man." Mom had muttered.

Once again, my panic had flared up. I told myself to calm down, to stop thinking, stop feeling. Calmness began to envelope me, but the wolf wouldn't let it, shoved it away and shook it off. My form began to quiver and I let out a frustrated whimper.

"Leah," A smooth voice said, bringing me back to reality. His hands were on my shoulders, his eyes bore into my soul and the calmness slammed into me, knocking my panic away and ceasing my shaking immediately. "You're okay."

"I'm okay." I mumbled dazedly.

Time had began to blur at this point. I remembered standing near Emily, staring blankly at her as she whispered, "I do."

The ring was put on, they kissed. All I felt was a strange indifference. Rachel stood to my right, closest to Emily as head bridesmaid, Kim stood to my left, little Claire beside her, a basket of flowers in her hands. We were organised like some kind of army troop or something, standing in height order.

Claire threw flower petals at the couple as they passed us. We followed shortly after, in neat formation. I stood outside, waiting for Jasper to follow.

His power began to fade off as he wasn't near me. I hesitantly approached Emily and Sam, who were standing at the entrance. Their hands were clasped and I felt a familiar ache go through me.

"Leah," Emily smiled gently. "I'm glad you came. You look wonderful."

A few snarky comments went through my head, and they were pure spite. I couldn't bring myself to ruin her day though, and so I gave her a weak smile. "I couldn't just not show up. You look… really good."

She sensed my lingering bitterness. Her eyes softened and she let go of Sam's hand to grasp both of mine instead. "I mean it, Leah. You being here made this day complete for me. I can't thank you enough."

Her compassion made the ache worse. I bit my lip, unsure of how to respond. Normally, I would have thrown a careless insult, full of angry sarcasm, but I couldn't do that to Em. No matter what I'd been through because of imprinting, it wasn't her fault. It never had been, it wasn't even Sam's fault. My eyes were tearing up, I was going to lose it… I was going to break down in front of them.

Suddenly, Jasper was behind me. I smelt him before I sensed his cold presence. His icy hands were on my shoulders, and a soothing wave of contentedness overcame me.

"No need to thank me," I told her. "Honestly, I'm sorry for being such a… such a_ bitch_ about this whole thing."

A dull ache ran through me at the word, but Jasper's hands were running soothing patterns over my shoulders, combined with the foreign feeling of being content, it relaxed me. I should have been disgusted at a bloodsucker touching me, what with all that bull about natural enemies and whatever, but I had learnt to tolerate, even like some of the Cullens.

It was mostly Seth's fault, but I knew that the Cullens weren't monsters. I liked Emmett, the big goon that he was, I liked Jasper because he was such a chill guy, and hell, I even liked Edward with his broody sarcasm. Carlisle and Esme were just so sweet, how could anyone not like them? Pixie chick was weird, yet loveable, like some kind of bouncy and overexcited kitten or puppy and Renezmoo was just a kid. The only Cullens I could say I didn't like would be Blondie and Bella. Ugh.

Goldie's firm hands were almost some kind of anchor, keeping me grounded in the situation, stopping me from flying off the handle and yet keeping my mind clear. All I could feel towards him was not the hate that was supposed to run through my veins towards my enemy, but the gratefulness of having a friend there to help.

Emily was tearing up, biting at her scarred lip. "Oh, Leah…"

I pulled her into a tight hug kind of awkwardly, muttering, "Don't cry on your wedding, you big loser."

She let out a choked laugh, "I t-thought you'd hate me forever."

"Wow, you really are a loser, Em," I said jokingly. "Stop crying, everything's cool. I was never mad with you to begin with."

I was mad with myself, for not being good enough, I left unsaid.

It would still hurt to see her and Sam together, but the first step to moving on was acceptance, and the first step to acceptance was forgiveness.

She pulled away from me, a big watery smile on her face.

"Thank you, Leah." She whispered.

* * *

Apparently, a person is only capable of feeling so many things before they sort of emotionally flatline. Jasper was staring at me with a somewhat worried look on his face, I could tell he was trying to work his mojo on me but it seemed to have very little effect.

"Want to help?" I mumbled. "Go fetch me some beer or something."

It was too loud on the beach. Sam letting Paul be DJ was a terrible idea, especially for a wedding. Paul had clearly pulled the "kicked puppy face", which was both ridiculous and pathetic, the idea that such an asshole could look so helpless and cute. Although, it was mostly Rachel that had brought that out in him.

Imprinting was some kind of fairy-tale cure-all miracle, wasn't it? I was just the one bitter exception. As always, Leah Clearwater, weirdo extraordinaire. Freak show til' the end.

As if sensing my dark turn of thoughts, Jasper comes back with a fairly large bottle of the good stuff and I whistle in appreciation.

"My good old companions, Collier and McKeel, how did you know?" I joke half heartedly.

"We were old acquaintances." He replies smoothly.

I remove the bottle's cap and take a swift sip, relishing in the slow burn and the flavor.

"Was it a habit of yours, to keep company with," I gesture towards the bottle of alcohol airily. "such things?"

He stared at me, eyes unreadable... maybe this was too heavy a subject, but after having him poke my emotions around all day it felt appropriate that I should get to poke at his, too. He didn't seem too willing to give me details on his previous life, past what I already knew of his early vampire life. I sent him an annoyed look and downed some more alcohol, spluttering slightly as I ingested too much.

Jasper gave me a calculating look and then began gently, "It wasn't really a habit, more something to do socially. With other officers."

"Did you have a grenade? Did it go pow?"

He blinks at my question, and I blink back. Apparently the alcohol was already beginning to affect me which was pretty strange. Maybe I was ill or something… huh. Something must have been affecting my metabolism.

We talked about nonsense for a while longer, before a slightly mad idea came to me.

"You, me, dance floor, now." I told him bluntly.

"... There is no dance floor." He informed me, grinning slightly.

"That's no way to ask a lady to dance!" I chastised, grabbing his arm and pulling him close to me. Three Days Grace was playing in the distance because apparently imprinting had improved Paul's taste in music.

"It's my jam." I informed Jasper, putting my arms around his neck and swaying along to the guitar lightly.

His cold arms around my waist didn't feel bad, I noted and giggled. His eyes were hypnotizing, really. Pretty gold to match his pretty gold hair. He was pretty.

"This is like some kind of scene out of a film." He observes dully.

"Jeez, so romantic there, Romeo."

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

I just laugh at him, and then sing along, swaying with him drunkenly. Some Juliet I am, I thought, giggling more as Jasper chuckled with me (because I refused to describe his laugh as a giggle. It would totally ruin the image of me as some damsel with a silly pointed hat that had a ribbon trailing from the top and him as my extremely manly knight in shiny armor).

"I'd rather have a romance like James Bond and one of his flings than like Romeo and Juliet," I say suddenly, and it catches us both a bit of guard I think. "... Romeo and Juliet are kept apart by their own stupidity, James never had that issue with anyone. I totally call being Elektra. She was so cool…" I trail off dazedly realizing that the song had shifted into a slower paced, romantic song that I vaguely noticed was Aerosmith. We had stopped swaying.

"Well then, Elektra, would you say the world is not enough?"

Suddenly aware of how much my heart was pounding, I whispered. "Maybe it is, Mr Bond. But only if I'm in your embrace." The words tumbled carelessly out of my mouth yet I couldn't take them back and I found that I didn't actually want to.

He shuddered, but I wasn't sure why. "Perhaps I should take you home, Leah?"

A smirk found its way to my face. "Perhaps you should, Jasper."

* * *

_Desperate hands pulled clumsily at tense cloth, clawing, scratching and gripping at the offending fabric. Pleading fingers grazing none-too-gently across firm, pale skin, eliciting an impassioned hiss against my intruding lips._

_He was trying to carry me upstairs, while I entwined the fingers of one hand in the golden strands of his hair. I wasn't sure where we were headed, but we only reached the piano before he gave up and returned my kiss eagerly._

* * *

**I suck at updating, although I have exams at the moment, so at least it's a semi-legit reason. But no, seriously, I suck.**

**A few notes:**  
**- Jasper is being affected by Leah's drunkenness via his empathy thing.**  
**- I don't even know how Leah managed to reconcile with Emily, it just happened. But I'm glad in a way, because it makes the characters more real to me and means I'm more likely to update. I just hope I did it justice.**  
**- I suck. I just hope you can all put up with me and my procrastination thing.**


	3. Awkwardest Morning I've Ever Had

**As of 10/6/2014, this chapter has been completely re-written.**

* * *

**Awkwardest Morning I've Ever Had**

I awoke with a start, the dim sunlight of Forks shining on my face. My first thought was, 'where the hell am I...?' My second was, 'oh shit...!'

I was in a vaguely familiar bed. A whispy memory floated into my thoughts.

_"Don't go," I slurred sleepily. "S'no fun without the after sex spooning."_

_"Sleep, Leah." He murmured, tucking me under the duvet and hesitantly sweeping my hair out of my face. A wave of calm overwhelmed me and I fell instantly into a heavy sleep._

However, with the calmness gone and being in my state of a mild hangover, the stench of Alice and Jasper burnt every fibre of my body like bleach when I inhaled and it made me want to retch. I groaned in revulsion.

I got up gingerly, feeling my bones creak in protest, and made my way over to the full length mirror.

"Nothing broken." I mused humorlessly. I noted a strange mark on my neck and then scoffed when I realised what it was_. A love bite. Hilarious_.

My head was pounding, and the lingering scent of… of…_ ugh. His_ scent mixed intimately with _her_ scent on a bed they didn't exactly use for sleeping wasn't helping, so I made my way swiftly to the shower they had probably never used.

To my senses, the lack of vampire smell was godly. I turned the faucet on and didn't even wince away from the cold water, relaxing into it with a newfound sense of calm, which lasted up until the point I realized the water was just making the scent of _himandher_ mixed with my hair more pungent.

Annoyed and nauseated, I grabbed a bottle of fancy-looking, French shampoo and lathered a fair-sized blob of it into my scalp and locks, hoping to dispel the stench of leech. After repeating this process until the bottle was empty, I still smelt the strong smell of_- ugh!_ Thoroughly irritated, I scrubbed at my body with the shower gel, scratching around the love bite with particular force, even drawing blood. But of course, the wound healed instantly.

I could still smell that stupid scent! Frustrated and tired, I gave up on trying to clean myself and exited the shower. It was probably just me being paranoid, or my elevated-through-hang-over senses.

I quickly vacated the shower, wrapping a towel around my body before swearing with the realization that I had no clothes as mine had been, uh... Man-handled the previous night.

"Nice fuck-and-dash."

I wasn't bitter.

... Obviously.

I toweled myself dry before I noticed an unorganised heap of my clothes at the end of the bed. Did he seriously risk breaking the treaty to fetch me my own clothes? I snorted and dressed in the familiar sweats and T-shirt when I realized there was a small, innocent-looking piece of paper left on the bed, where my clothes had been.

I swallowed and picked it up almost hesitantly.

_I am so sorry._

Not a complete fuck-and-dash then. I had to ignore the stupid feeling of warmth that the thought brought to my chest. _Don't be an idiot_, I mentally chastised myself.

* * *

I had been left the keys to Eddikin's Volvo, so the drive back to La Push had been full of depressing piano music and his lingering scent._ Way to be a melodramatic creep, Leah._

When I arrived, the fresh air was a relief as I exited the car and made my way through the front door. Said relief disappeared when I noticed Quil, Seth and Embry lounging around in front of the TV, shouting something about Mario.

"Shut the hell up," I grumbled. "Some of us adults have important things to do. In peace, preferably."

"Also known as _Leah has a hang-over._" Seth informed everyone.

"Also known as _Leah will disembowel you if you don't shut your oversized traps_."

Quil sniffed in an offended manner and then grimaced. "Jeez, Leah. You stink of leech."

"I crashed at a vampire's pad for the night. Am I supposed to smell of fresh daisies?" I snapped

"Speaking of bloodsuckers," Quil continued. "Did you hear what was going on there last night?"

Internally, I freaked out.

"No...?"

Seth laughed. "How could you not hear?"

"Leah is one of those drunks that passes out into a coma-like state." Embry said, chuckling.

"I'm not a drunk." I objected.

"Anyway," Quil snorted. "I heard what sounded like a piano breaking."

"Why would Jasper break Edward's piano?" Seth wondered.

"I heard definite sex noises." Quil told us.

I blanched.

"_Gross_." Seth whined.

"Gross." Embry agreed.

"Guess Alice payed a visit, huh?" Quil hedged. I sent him a sharp glare... He couldn't possibly know, could he?

I shrugged. "Apparently."

"Still can't believe you didn't hear it, Leah," Quil guffawed. "Seriously."

"If you're implying what I think you are..." I hissed at him. Anger was slowly simmering in my veins, and I repressed my shuddering, not wanting to phase.

He raised his arms in a surrendering gesture. "Just playing with you, Leah. No need to get so defensive."

I rolled my eyes at him, heart in my throat, my head throbbing. _Be less conspicuous, you freaking psycho. _"Whatever, dweebus."

He raised his eyebrows, "Ouch, _cutting_ _insult_."

Suddenly, my anger flared white-hot. I lunged at him, grabbing his shoulders and slamming him back against the wall. He stared at me, eyes wide, lips parted in a small 'o'.

"Go and fuck yourself." I seethed, storming away from them. My shaking slowly ceasing when I came to a realization.

My self control had never been both that good and that bad. Quil's harmless annoying-ness had never affected in such a way before, but I had never been able to resist phasing like that in the past either.

Honestly, I was surprised that it was me lunging at his shoulders instead of a wolf lunging for his throat. I banished the thought away, not wanting to think of it anymore.


	4. Coward

**Still can't write Jasper for hell, this kind of reads like Edward's diary or something: drama-melodrama-smoulder-me-dramaaaa-DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL THOUGHTS-me-drama-drama-fabulous-drama. Here he refers to the Cullens as being a coven instead of a family because I just feel he'd use that kind of phrasing when in a down mood. Chapter was drastically changed because the original sucked more than a Dyson.**

**I can't actually sit and concentrate on this story because I keep getting random ideas for TMR/HP crackfics and this thing that's EdwardxJessica because wut. Reviews appreciated because they are my oxygen gawd I'm so uninspired I should probably sleep more.**

* * *

**Jasper POV**

The rain fell steadily, swiftly, the soft _pitpatpitpat_ echoing gently in my brain, but _pitpat_ started to sound accusing; it started to sound like _"why, Jazz?"_ over and over, spoken in a soft, fairly-like voice. The voice was lovely, not made to sound sorrowful, and so it sounded wrong to hear such depression in the lilting soprano. With the rain came the full brunt of the wind's passion, treacherously whispering against my skin _"Jasper…"_, causing me to unwittingly shiver... Yet the beautiful tempest was unrelenting, urging me away from the forest that surrounded my coven's old house and I shivered yet again.

Usually, the weather had no effect upon me, yet after having spent such time in Leah's warm presence, everything felt strangely cold when it pressed against my pallid skin.

I pushed the thought down.

_What would Alice think when she found out…?_

_If. _Alice didn't have to find out, she could not see the future of Shifters any more than _I_ could. She wouldn't have seen a vision of my small betrayal, and that thought sent a stab of guilt through me. _Should I not just tell her, and hope she forgives me for my despicable crime?_

... I knew she would, yet it would break her heart. This one betrayal would ruin her faith in me forever and eternally cause her to doubt herself. Not only that, but perhaps my coven would realize that I was really nothing more than a beast, wearing the visage of something beyond human.

I had questioned humanity many a time back when the word fit me more accurately. What made us human? The closest to an answer I had gotten had been our ability to control and gauge our actions. Carlisle considered us as human as vampires could come as our sense of morality was stronger than others of our kind, yet how wrong I had proved him. I was a being controlled by lust and instinct, which Carlisle accounted to the fact I was turned by Maria and then raised in a violent environment. Yet it didn't explain my behaviour that evening; the lust coursing through my body and thrumming in my dead veins had certainly not been blood-lust... I was but a creature of shallow desires and even thinner restraint.

How would Leah be implicated in all of this, if I told Alice? If I told Alice, everyone else would undoubtedly find out. Bella would be up in arms and assuredly Edward and Nessie would join her side without hesitation. With Nessie, went Jacob and maybe Embry and Quil. The numbers were already so fully against her as she would most likely be blamed by stereotype alone. Perhaps her pack members would taunt her with names such as home-wrecker, man-eater, _whore._

I had already taken so much from her. I knew how her emotions worked, me leaving her after an impassioned night of drunken fumbling would cheapen what companionship we may have had and shatter her pride, her fragile self confidence that had taken so long to build back up after Sam had imprinted on Emily, after her body had first shifted into something so unnatural to her.

To cause everyone to hate her again would be a whole new level of unforgivable, but to cause self-hate was even more despicable.

I could not tell Alice, but I couldn't just leave Leah. Part of me wondered if I was blowing it out of proportion, but I knew it was best to be prepared for the worst. If I could just have a conversation with Leah, a chance to explain and to placate…

There was no way I could converse with her on the matter anywhere near my coven or her pack mates, there was always the chance that they would overhear us with the inhuman hearing ability we all possessed… and then the solution presented itself to me. _A note is unlikely to calm her much, it'll just make her see you for what you really are._

_A war-hardened soldier, stubborn and strong. Jasper Whitlock, a moron that was more boy than man, who had the courage of a lion upon the battlefield. A celebrated hero._

A coward in matters of the heart, despite the emotions of others making up my entire existence.


	5. Perspective

**As of 30/7/2014 this chapter has been rewritten and spliced and pasted and abused so please re-read.**

* * *

**Perspective**

**Leah POV**

The drive to the Cullen's new cave was slow and full of brooding. I had no freaking idea how I was meant to keep this massive secret from Edward... I mean, how could I even look at Jasper without thinking about it? Who'd have thought vampire sex would have been so _fun? _Ugh, maybe I just needed to get out more.

What was it Pixie Cullen did to block him out? Something like sing the national anthem? An even better idea presented itself to me... Have a rap battle with myself!

That'd keep Edward out. Although, I could probably just angst about being second best and he'd be instantly repelled from my mind.

I'd be left in the mud as the unwanted she-wolf again. It was becoming the habit of a lifetime.

… But what about the note?

_Leah,  
I know what has happened cannot be undone, and I cannot honestly say I would undo it if I could. I did not intend for the event to happen, and I would like for our friendship to remain the same. I don't want you to feel as if I used you, it was a genuine mistake, and I take all of the responsibility. I should not have let you get so drunk, or allow your drunkenness to affect me so much, and you can't help that I find you so terribly beautiful. If you wish for me to stay away from you, I understand.  
Jasper._

I was annoyed by the fact that I could remember it word for word, I mean, seriously? _Sap-of-the-year_ award goes to Miss Leah Clearwater!

It was a one night stand, I kept telling myself, a drunken one night stand. It should mean exactly that to me, a hazed night of sloppy passion. A mistake.

But, it had always been my way, hasn't it? To grow attatched to a _mistake_

* * *

**Edward POV**

Time was ever-moving and the world was ever-changing, as was everything within it, aside from my family and I.

Yet an anomaly occurred, Leah fell ill and with her rapidly growing illness, Jasper changed.

I was the only one that heard, although the others felt. He was worried, and he was afraid. I knew he was losing control over his power, yet the other thought the shadow of fear that enveloped our household was a general concern they all felt for Leah.

It was only natural, Shifters were never ill. Leah's appetite had completely abated, her ability to shift was lost (despite her anger being through the roof, she would shake and shake yet her from never twisted into that of a wolf) and she spent most mornings lurched over a toilet, bringing up naught but bile.

_What if she...? No._

Jasper was confused. He seemed in denial.

_I must be dying. Maybe I have rabies._

Leah was, surprisingly, making light of the situation. Seth was being torn apart, having to watch his sister slowly fade.

It had only been about a month since the symptoms had started, a week and a half since the loss of appetite had appeared.

Leah was beginning to look similar to Bella had when she was pregnant with Renesmee.

I saw the signs, yet I didn't connect the dots.

* * *

**Leah POV**

I woke up, for the third time that night, in a pool of sweat, pained whimpers escaping my mouth.

A quiet voice made me yelp. "Leah?"

It was... Jasper. Ever since the nightmares and fever had kicked in, the Cullens had decided to take turns in watching over me. I was thankful Edward and The Bitch had decided to go on a second honeymoon so at least it meant Edward couldn't tune into Leah FM.

Of course Jasper was laying in the bed with me, arms wrapped around me, it was what all of the Cullens had been doing, in attempts to keep me from overheating, I was honestly surprised my brain hadn't melted despite that.

My breathing was rapid, and I knew from the sound that I was on the decline. It had started with the tiredness, then the lack of phasing, then the weird feeling of my stomach and the loss of appetite. Dr Acula had insisted on tests, but I just couldn't be assed with all that trouble.

"I'm fine." I croaked. "Just... hungry?"

He nodded. "Shall I have Alice fetch you some food?"

I gulped. "Sure. No pain, no gain."

For the oddest reason, I wanted to try deer again. I supposed I was trying to stay in contact with my wolf side, but the idea still repulsed me, and I guess everyone else would think it weird if I randomly went: "Hey, dudes, let's go kill some animals and eat them, yeah! Woop!"

Pixie Cullen flitted through the door, a tray of food in her hands. I groaned.

She ignored it, frowning at the seemingly-intimate position me and Jasper were in. "I think it's my turn soon."

Jasper shrugged. "I can help with the nightmares, though."

The pixie turned her nose up, and placed the tray on the end of my bed. "Bon appetite." She said coldly.

I flushed red. She couldn't possibly have found out...

The dry scent of the toast hit me and I groaned again.

"Get rid of it." I gagged.

Jasper's black eyes boared into mine, and I was overcome with a massive feeling of worry.

"Not... helping." I gasped.

Jasper picked me up gently, and before I could blink, we were in a bathroom, my head over a sink with Jasper holding my hair away from my face.

My empty stomach heaved, and I spewed bile into the sink.

"You need Carlisle." The voice surprised me.

"Hey... Nesmee." I coughed.

She walked to my side and rubbed my back. "No better, then?"

"No, she's getting worse."

"Water?" I begged.

Renesmee was gone for a second, and then was handing a glass of water to me. I sipped it thankfully.

Surprisingly, I had been getting on better with the half-vamp mutant. She had an interesting point of view on things.

I saw her smile slightly in the mirror.

"God... I look terrible." I muttered.

"You don't." Jasper and Renesmee lied at the same time.

I snorted. "The drugged-up corpse look _really_ suits me."

Skin too pale, dark circles under blood-shot eyes, hair dank and lacking luster, face slowly going gaunt...

They both winced at my choice of words. Good job Carlisle walked in and defused the awkward silence before it went on for too long.

"Leah." He greeted.

"Doc." I said in reply.

Carlisle sat down on the edge of the bath and looked me in the eye, face calm.

"I've made a list of what might be up with you," He told me slowly. "But please tell me the what the signs are, so I can make sure."

"Temperature, being sick, clumsiness, nightmares, loss of appetite and mood swings..." I trailed off, when I suddenly realized what it sounded like I was describing.

Impossible.

"And... I can't shift." I added.

He nodded. "I see. When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?"

I choked on the air. "... a month and a half ago."

"Who with, Leah?"

"I-I can't be!" I spluttered. Without my permission, my wide eyes flew to Jasper, who had a grim look on his face. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry." He started, staring blankly at Carlisle.

"Jasper?" The good doctor questioned softly.

"It was me."


	6. Blame

******I don't own Twilght... Please keep them good reviews coming? :)**

* * *

**Blame (Jasper POV)**

_"It appears that you are pregnant..."_

My legs were shaking. The sheer amount of emotions I could feel were overwhelming. I could feel emotions from every part of the house, inclusing my own. They almost knocked me over.

_Shock._ There was a lot of shock, everyone was shocked.

_Worry. _Everyone knew what Bella's pregnancy with a half-vampire had been like...

_Pain. _Nobody wanted to see Leah go though what Bella did.

_Hatred._ Everyone other than Leah and Renesmee felt hatred for the one that had impregnated Leah, even myself.

_Joy. _Leah and Esme, overjoyed that Leah could have children afterall.

_Envy. _Rosalie wanted children.

_Sadness. _Leah was oddly sad. Maybe because her child would be brought up a bastard?

_Decision. _Renesmee and Leah were decided on something.

_Confusion. _Jacob had only just walked in. He had no idea what was going on.

_Disgust. _Rosalie obviously concidered it wrong that Leah had done it with a stranger, even though she was intoxicated.

Then there was my emotions. My self-hatred, my worry, my... happiness. My shame.

An image haunted me suddenly. Me, with a small boy, running through fields at a in-human pace, pretending to be soldiers, shooting at each other.

The small boy was perfection. He had his mother's eyes, grey and clear and warm. His hair was as dark as Leah's too, but it was curly, like mine. He had no scars, and his voice was admiring.

_"Pa!"_

I knew that I couldn't go on with Alice. Not after having immagined that. It was wrong. Even though I knew that my thought could never be real.

_Disbelief._ That came from Renesmee, although I didn't know what she was disbelieving about.

She fell to the ground with a small cry, and drove me down with her feeling of worthlessness and betrayal.

No, I could never acknowlage Leah's child as mine. Not if I wanted her to keep her pride.

Another thing, how would we ever keep the existence of our little half-half child a secret from the Volturi? There was no doubt in my mind, this child would be _totally_ unique. Aro would never let this slip. Never.

We had to think of some way to out-smart them. Yes, that was it, we had to be prepared.

A quiet sob of mixed feelings brought me out of my thoughts.

"I want Embry!" Leah cried.

I froze on the spot.

What would she want that mutt for?


	7. Today Is Full Of Suprises

**I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Today Is Full Of Surprises**

"I want Embry!" I cried.

My face felt hotter than before, I was blushing. Why had I just said that?

I guess it was because Embry was understanding, when I had phased and been a bitch- no pun intended- he had been the most accepting of my pack mates, and he had even sometimes tried to comfort me or calm me down on occasions.

Embry was a brave fool, no one else had dared come near me when I was angry or in one of my depressed states. I admired that, I guess I could say he was basically my best friend, all my other 'best friends' had deserted me when Sam left me for Emily.

So maybe Embry would be understanding of this? I could only hope, but it seemed likely, since his mom had made a mistake much like mine, minus the fact that I was a shape-shifter and did it with a vampire.

To be honest, I didn't care what anyone thought about my pregnancy, I was overjoyed. Would it be a boy or a girl? What should I name my baby?

But then I realized there was one opinion that mattered to me... Jasper's. What was he going to do, tell someone? Go along with my story?

"Jacob will fetch him," Carlisle nodded. I heard Jacob muttering an 'okay'.

Carlisle put his hand on my head and frowned. "You're getting warmer."

I coughed. "Yeah."

"I think you're going to have to drink blood, Leah." Carlisle said quietly, saw that I was about to protest and then added quickly; "From a pack, do you really want to drink from a deer?"

I shook my head.

"Jasper," Carlisle called. "Please sit in here with Leah and keep her temperature down."

"Run her a cold bath," Jasper said, like he was distracted. "I've got business."

I heard Jasper run downstairs and say in his southern drawl to Alice; "Lets go for a walk."

Carlisle sighed. "Renesmee, could you supervise Leah while I go and get some blood?"

Nesmee shuffled into the room, tears falling from her eyes. "Sure."

Carlisle sped from the room as Nesmee ran me a cold bath.

"'Sup?" I asked.

Bronze curls tossed around when she shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I just need details on some things."

"What kind of details?"

She looked me in the eyes, resentment clear on her face, although I didn't think it was for me.

"It isn't." She said.

"Huh?" Was she...

"Yes, I am. Shush though." She smiled a tight smile to herself.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen could read minds. Oh fuck!

She placed her hand on my face. _Don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone. I guess I'm just kind of pissed off that my whole life seems to be based on lies._

"Bath's done." She told me. Nesmee picked me up and placed me in the cold water, in my clothes, and I let out a contented sigh.

"It'll probably evaporate." She mused.

Carlisle walked in the room, a cup much like that of the one Bitchy-Bella had first drank out of, in his hand.

I, unlike BB had been at the time, was not human, therefore, I could smell the blood anyway.

"Oh crap," I mumbled. "Walk faster, that smells-" I inhaled deeply. "-divine." I breathed the last word.

Carlisle handed me the cup, and I put the straw to my mouth and gulped down big mouthfuls.

It tasted worse than it had looked, but I felt better, the fever had dropped to my normal.

_What did you want to know? _I asked Nesmee. She placed her hand on my shoulder, like she was comforting me.

_What happened while my mom was pregnant, what went on with my mom and Jacob? _She said.

I told her everything I knew, I told her all of Jacob's emotions (and I knew them all, since I was in his head) and I told her all the gore of Bella's pregnancy, there was no point in lying to her. She deserved to know the truth, and anyway, she could read minds.

Renesmee had gone completely pale. _I see._

With that she left me and Carlisle to talk about what we were going to do. During my pregnancy and how to keep this from the Royal Vamps. There was no way in hell I was going to risk my baby to those monsters.

And, although I didn't want to admit my real feelings about the Cullens, I didn't want to risk their lives either.


	8. Confession

******I don't own Twilght... This is a tiny chapter, so I'll give you that picture of Carlisle now :)**

* * *

**Confession**

Alice sat across from me in a small cafe. I supposed it was a bad idea to tell her where there would be humans, but I was too much of a coward to face the wrath of the small woman on my own.

It was ridiculous. I had been the youngest general in the American Civil war, a survivor of the Southern Wars, and I was cowering at the idea of telling the truth?

Pathetic.

I shifted in my chair, a habit and facade.

"Jazz, what's wrong?" Alice asked, worry was the main emotion coming off of her.

"I..." I took a deep breath. "Think that I-" Her eyes glazed over for a minute.

"Oh." Was all she could manage.

"I'm sorry." I told her truthfully, I could feel her hurt and sadness and confusion.

"I've got to go," She said quietly. "I saw myself wandering..."

"Alice?" The feeling of guilt that I was under was immense, it almost seemed to crush me.

She looked away from me, blinking. It looked like she would be blinking back tears, if she had any.

"Tell Carlisle I'm sorry, and Bella, and Renesmee and Esme. Tell Emmett I'll miss him, tell Edward not to go hunting on the 29th, and tell Rosalie to befriend Leah." With that, she stood up, a little too quickly for a normal human.

"And tell yourself that I'm going to love you-" She looked me in the eyes, and they were almost watery, full of un-shedable tears. "-forever. I'd give you my wedding ring back, but I'm afraid I can't. You can take yours off it you want to."

She left the old cafe quickly, taking her sorrow with her.

I put my head in my hands, and removed the ring from my left hand which signified martial union. I put it in my pocket and sighed.

The words 'Till death do us part' seemed a little pointless now.


	9. Alice's Interlude

**I don't own Twilight**

* * *

**Alice's Interlude**

"Jazz, what's wrong?" I asked Jasper, he was giving out nervousness like a lamp gives off light.

"I..." He took a deep breath. Why was he acting so human?. "Think that I-" A string of visions hit me.

"_Think that I don't love you anymore."_

Another one swept me away.

_I'm wandering around, looks like I'm near Volterra, somewhere in the forest. My eyes are blood-red, and I looked ashamed. A blurry figure who I can't see clearly is sitting next to me._

"_It's alright," Says her blurry voice. "As long as Edward stays from the forest tomorrow."_

"_What is today?" I ask. "I've lost track of time."_

"_The 28th." The blurry girl answered._

_I look down at my hands._

"_He really loves you, you know." The girl said._

"_I can't love him!" I cry pathetically. "I'm always going to love Jasper!"_

"_The future is, for the most part, an unknown entity. Who ever thought I would end up here? Certainly not dad, not mom. No one, not even myself."_

I was pulled from the vision, back into the present.

"Oh." Was all I could get out of my mouth... I had killed a human, and there was yet another weakness in my vision.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"I've got to go," I said. "I saw myself wandering..."

"Alice?"

I looked away from him, tears that would never fall in my eyes.

"Tell Carlisle I'm sorry, and Bella, and Renesmee and Esme. Tell Emmett I'll miss him, tell Edward not to go hunting on the 29th, and tell Rosalie to befriend Leah." I stood up, a little too quickly for a normal human.

"And tell yourself that I'm going to love you-" I looked him in the eyes. "-forever. I'd give you my wedding ring back, but I'm afraid I can't. You can take yours off if you want to."

I walked out of the cafe at a fast human pace, thankful that it was raining. I just kept walking until I found a forest and when I was safe within the forest, I ran. Ran as fast as my small legs could carry me.

It's funny how fast I could run when I really pushed myself. I could probably out run Edward at the pace I was running.

_But where am I going?_ I asked myself finally. Not to Volterra, surely. It was too risky.

I stopped running and sat down and I began searching my future. I found something.

"_Alice, dear one!" Aro cries out happily, extending his hand. I shake my head._

"_I'm sorry, Aro, but my thoughts have been rather... unpleasant recently." I tell him._

_Aro tilts his head to the side, eyes alight with curiosity. "How so, dear?"_

"_My... husband and I have recently separated." I say, voice sounding strange, like there's a lump stuck in my throat._

_Aro sighs. "Your husband is a foolish man."_

"_But my point of coming here is- please don't give me that look, I'm not as foolish as my brother – to ask if I could..."_

The vision was cut off. What was I asking, to join the guard? Surely not.

Next, I tried to search Jasper's future. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear him speaking to someone.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Don't apologize."_

"_I have to, it's my fault."_

"_It isn't. I was the one who was drunk."_

"_I was the one who let you get drunk."_

"_Just shut u-" Someone let out a cry._

"_Are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine. I think it's just... practice contractions?"_

Hmmm... Curious. Maybe it was Jasper talking to Leah, which would explain why I couldn't see it, just hear it rather weakly. Did Jasper think it was his fault that Leah was pregnant...?

I attempted to search Leah's future next.

"_You can be such a pain in the ass sometimes."_

That seemed to be the only thing I could get about Leah at the moment.

How about Renesmee, could I see her too now?

This time when I got a vision, I could see things, but one figure was blurred. I assumed it was Renesmee.

"_For a Witch Twin, you're actually rather nice." Says the blurry person._

_Alec Volturi smiles, and it's a real smile, not forced or a façade. "For a hybrid, you're actually rather normal."_

_It looks like the blurry person rolls her eyes. "Me, normal? Never!"_

_Alec laughs, red eyes shining in a happy sort of way._

Oh no... it couldn't be... Renesmee must have been the one who I saw myself talking to. What on Earth would she be doing in Volterra?

That expression on Alec's face, the light in his eyes...

It was the same expression Edward wore for Bella, Emmett for Rosalie, Carlisle for Esme. Pure admiration and love. I had to warn her... somehow... to stay away from Volterra.

Trouble could only come from Alec Volturi being in love with Renesmee, because I doubted she could ever love him back, the imprint would get in the way. She must have been kidnapped, maybe because of Alec's obsession?

But I knew my reason to go to Volterra now, I would stop Alec from falling in love with Renesmee...

Because I would make him fall in love with me.

* * *

**I'm planning on writing a Renesmee story including the Volturi, so I think that this interludey thing was needed. Alice's visions help me know what's going to happen in the story. No hate for this, please.**

**Alice has Renesmee's best interests at heart, because she knows/thinks that if Alec loves Renesmee, and she doesn't return the feelings because of Jacob, it puts both Renesmee and Jacob at risk. If Renesmee returned the feelings, she'd ask Alec to leave the Volturi for her, which would result in Aro killing her (like he did with Didyme). Alice still loves Jasper, she's not trying to move on, she's not trying to use Alec, and Alice is rather biased because she thinks Alec is heartless, un-human.**

**Like I said, no hating please.**


	10. But At Least I'm Not Voldemort

**Now I'm A Bad Person, But At Least I'm Not Voldemort.**

Jasper had been missing for a couple of days. Not that it bothered me... much, but Alice was nowhere to be found either. Had he told Alice and suggested that they ran away from me?

The thought made me want to cry. Which was just my hormones, of course.

Embry hadn't taken the news too well, either. He had stared at me for a while, and then asked quietly, _"Why?"_

_"Because I was drunk. Intoxicated. Out of my tree. Wasn't my fault." I got on the defensive._

_"Wasn't that leech there to stop it, though?" Embry questioned. He was evidently judging Jasper, and it bothered me that he would do so. So I did what I did best, be offensive._

_"Didn't your mom do the same thing, sleeping with a married man like that?" I snapped._

_Embry flinched, but then said in the same calm voice. "So he was married?"_

_"I don't know," I lied. "I don't fucking know, okay?"_

Embry had stormed off after that, leaving me to sit a drown in the fact that I had driven pretty much everyone away, even the Cullens. _From their own home._

Carlisle hadn't ventured outside of his office, despite Esme trying to drag him out to relax, he had simply mumbled, _"I have to research. We owe Leah this much from when she helped protect us from the pack when Bella was pregnant."_

I found it horribly ironic, I was in the position of Bitchy Bella, apart from all the surrounding, loving, family members, the adoring husband. Next thing, it would be her yelling at me about my selfishness, causing Alice and Jasper to run away, Carlisle to recluse into his office, Esme to be sad, Rosalie to sit and brood and Emmett to brood along with her. To be honest, Emmett never seemed like the brooding type, but I guess his wife's misery dragged him down, too.

As for Nessie... she was sat next to me, staring into space, having not moved for two hours. Honestly? It was starting to creep me out, I didn't think she could sit still for that long. I wanted to call her name, see if she acknowledged it, but I didn't really want to disrupt her thinking. Afterall, I had been the one who told her that her life was basically a lie.

Maybe I could go after Embry and apologize? Sure, I was pregnant with a half-vampire, half-shifter, but I wasn't really showing yet, and I was feeling a hell of a lot better than I did before.

I heard a strange noise, it sounded like steady footfalls, somebody jogging at a human pace, feet barely hitting the floor_. What-?_

"Your hearing is better than normal, I guess the pregnancy is making you more vampric, like it did with... yeah." Nesmee said in a monotone and then sighed. I was about to ask her if she was alright, when she put her hand on my arm.

_I guess I'm confused. To know that Jacob is my 'soul mate'. _She said the term dubiously, _and that he used to be in love with my mom. So now I'm thinking of her as a rival, too. Even though I don't love Jacob. Stupid imprinting._

I let out a half-bitter laugh. _Isn't it just?_

She gave me a hesitant smile. _You're getting over Sam._

_I am?_

She nodded. _What, are you an empath too?_

_Jasper is, so I know what you feel... when he's around, of course._

His name sent ripples of guilt through my body, and a small wave of annoyance. Couldn't he just come to terms with the fact he was a father, instead of running away? I'd never thought of him as a coward before, but then again, I was no better...

_He'll come back. You should talk to him._

I let out an annoyed huff. _One, he's married, Two, it was only a one-night stand, and Three, do I really look like I give a damn about what he thinks?_

_We both know that's a lie. _I wasn't sure if that was her thought or mine, or maybe both.

_Anyway, _she said, _he's not... fully married, anymore._

_Huh?_

She didn't get time to explain. All the while during our conversation, the jogging person had been getting closer, and just when she had been about to tell me, Jasper casually jogged into the front room.

_Fuck me sideways! _I mentally exclaimed in shock.

Nesmee gave me a _'are you serious?' _look.

_Sorry. _I apologized weakly.

The reasons why I had made an inappropriate exclamation; Jasper was wearing a _very_ torn shirt, and he was looking _very _sexy. He gave me a strange look, and I almost face palmed.

_Right, he's a fricking empath, therefore he can feel my emotions, ugh, ew, nice. Control, Leah, control. Imagine that he's... wearing a tutu. Jasper in a tutu, Jasper in a tutu._

I imagined him in a tutu, and I _think _I managed to fool him.

But aside from the state of his clothes, on his left hand, there were no rings. I was feeling guilty again.

"Good morning Renesmee, Leah." He said. I almost drooled. Right, pregnancy hormones, gah.

"I'm, erm, sorry." I tried to sound sincere, but it just sounded... awkward.

Nesmee coughed, and then said. "Morning, Uncle Jazz. I'm hungry, Leah, want any food?"

I shook my head. She ran off to the kitchen. I felt myself panicking, I tried to calm myself down before Jasper noticed, but I failed. He didn't bother trying to calm me down.

"So," Jasper said smoothly. "What are you sorry about?"

I gave him a disbelieving look. So he was going to play ignorant, huh? Two could play at that game.

"What?" I blinked innocently.

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what are you sorry about?'?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side childishly.

It was his turn to look disbelieving. "A moment ago you said that you were sorry to me."

"I didn't?" I tried to sound confused.

"Leah," He sighed. "Stop it now."

"Stop what?"

"That."

"What?"

"That. Acting… unintelligent."

"Oh that!" I laughed and then glowered at him. "Don't be ignorant; you know what I'm sorry for."

His eyes now golden eyes seemed to have flashed and I frowned, squinting. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" He groaned. I stopped squinting, but my eyesight had gone blurry.

I frowned, "Blurry."

His blurry face contorted in what she thought was worry and his quiet voice called out to me. "Leah?"

"Carlisle!" Jasper called. I felt warm again, warmer than normal.

A new blur joined him, and I felt cold hands feeling my forehead. "She's too hot."

"You're telling me." I told the blurs in a murmur, and another one joined the duet, becoming a trio.

I felt a familiar feeling in my stomach, it was twisting, something stuck in my throat.

I was going to be sick again. I pushed past the blurs, but one of them, warmer than the others grabbed my arm and led me away quickly somewhere else. I dropped to my knees, gagging and the blur tilted my head forward slightly, keeping me bent slightly forward.

"Leah, it's me, Renesmee." The blur told me and then shouted, "Jasper, run her a cold bath, put ice in it!"

I felt the contents of my stomach heave upwards into the white thing in front of me, heard the sound of running water.

I felt dizzy, the room was spinning, and then there it was, _that_ smell. The spinning went wild, I heaved again, but nothing came up and I felt something pressed against my lips, a fluid running down my throat.

The spinning was almost gone when I felt my head hit the toilet seat as unconsciousness took me.

**Okay, it took me a millennia to get around to writing this, I have my excuses, most of which are on my profile, but I was also reading… and it wasn't Twilight. I have really lost touch with Twilight because Twilight is, well, yeah. I still adore the Volturi and some of the backgroundier characters and Leah's not too bad, but just think of Edward or Bella makes me head-desk. My obsession with books goes like that, love something then hate it's guts and bleh, I got like that with Maggie Steifvater's Shiver, I had read the first two and had brought the last and was all 'Why am I even reading this? I feel like a hermit, I cbfa with this crud. INTERNET FOREVER!" but I eventually got around to reading it and it's actually a good book, I'm not trying to slag anything off here, and this AN has gotten longer than I meant for it because I'm ranting but yes, down to the crux of the matter: I will most likely not update for a while due to the fact that… THERE'S A NEW SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT BOOK COMING OUT! –SQUEE- well yes. I may have a slight obsession (The good kind that lasts, because I've known this series since I was youngerish? Dx and it's a well written book that is serious and funny and actually made me cry at one part, Ijust tended to laugh at Twilight's sad bits… just a small chuckle) with a certain amazing series of amazing bookishness, and that means I'll be hyperactive and fidgety/irritable until I've got the book and then I will be fidgety/irritable if anyone tries to pry the book away from me, because nobody touches my books, they just don't. So now I sound mad, that's nice. Now I'm going to apologize for writing an essay on recentish events in my life and not updating, so yes.**

**Not sure about the chapter name, I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (part one) recently, so I guess I've had Voldemort on my mind for a while too, so there will most likely be random references to do with A Very Potter Musical as well, because I was watching that with my sister and singing along with Voldie all the time. I'll shut up now 'xD **

**Ayumu-Emi out, betches.**


	11. Anomaly

_"Carlisle, what happened?"_

One voice stood out to me as I drifted in a state between being half awake and half asleep, although it felt like I must have been half dead.

A strange cold pressure all over my body.

_"Ice." _Someone told me helpfully.

I thought my eyes were open. All I could see were colourful blurs, so maybe it was a dream. Maybe in my dream there were rainbow blobs that I couldn't see properly because I needed glasses.

_Why would I need glasses in my dream world? _I mused. _That'd be stupid_.

The blobs probably should have alarmed me. Even if I was dreaming, my eyesight shouldn't be that bad. I felt an unnatural calm.

Where was I anyway?

I tugged at the wispy strands of a memory that had been lurking at the edges of my thoughts. A room of white, with a toilet, a sink and a huge bath...

I had been... In a bathroom?

...Yes. Then what?

I tugged at the edges of a memory again, bringing a face to the front of my mind.

Handsome, with eyes the colour of honey, faint scars marring the surface of pale skin. Blonde curls framed his face and my hand entwined itself with the strands.

Who was he?

... Who was I?

My vision cleared.

* * *

**I, uh, wow. Just remembered this old account. I abandoned these stories for almost three years, and I feel as if I should finish some of them. Would anyone be interested in seeing me finish this old fic? My writing style has changed drastically, even if I haven't written anything in a fair while. If anyone's interested, I'll finish this and go over the old chapters and give them a bit of love. Not a very long chapter, or interesting. I kind of forgot what way I was going with the plot so this one's very fillerish.**

**Please review. I need to know if anyone actually wants me to finish this because I'm not too fond of Twilight anymore. I love Leah as a character though. I also don't have much time to write because of college. Honestly, I am so sorry. If anyone wants me to finish this, I will. I owe it to all of you wonderful people.**


	12. AN For my lovely readers

**Okay, quick news update type thing!**

**For the healthiness of this fic, I've decided to re-write the earlier chapters before I write any new ones. This is because some events are going to change drastically, meaning some chapters are going to be completely different, and others may be spliced together. I'm also not going to do Jasper's POV every other chapter because I suck at writing Jasper. But fear not, he shall have his say every now and again!**

**I think my handling of everything was uh, preeeeeetty poor. Going to be more build up to the****_ event _****and then probably more time before they realise OHSHITFEELINGS. Leah's probably gonna be more angsty too. I've already got chapter 1 redone and posted, I'd recommend you check it out since it's changed a fair bit.**

**I actually have a chapter plan too! I have direction, now just to get a-moving! Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews and support. I was tempted to write some sort of ode to each of you, but maybe some other time xD**

**Thank you for being so patient, all of you beautiful people. Stay chill x**


End file.
